Funny taglines for professionals

An Optometrist:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

A Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

Another Plumber's:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

A Gynecologist:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

A Podiatrist:
"Time wounds all heels."

An Exhaust Centre:
"No appointment necessary. We can hear you coming."

A Radiator Repair Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.

A Tyre Shop:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

An Electrician:
"Let us remove your shorts."

And some non-business related taglines...

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

On an electricity bill:
"We will be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."